-

Philomena: Some people have been writing PHP for over 20 years. Is that because it's particularly difficult to finish? Expert: No, software is constantly evolving. Philomena: So they've been writing the same website for 20 years? Expert: No, different <br />projects. Philomena: Have they tried finishing one before starting another? Expert: That's not how software development works. Philomena: My mate Paul spent 20 years building a shed. Turned out he was just an alcoholic. Expert: Right. Philomena: Is PHP <br />like that?

2026-10-22 14:04:55

CursedSilicon@treehouse.systems

Philomena: Some people have been writing PHP for over 20 years. Is that because it's particularly difficult to finish?

Expert: No, software is constantly evolving.

Philomena: So they've been writing the same website for 20 years?

Expert: No, different projects.

Philomena: Have they tried finishing one before starting another?

Expert: That's not how software development works.

Philomena: My mate Paul spent 20 years building a shed. Turned out he was just an alcoholic.

Expert: Right.

Philomena: Is PHP like that?

2026-10-22 14:11:46

Scott Francis

darkuncle@infosec.exchange

@CursedSilicon “Art is never finished, only abandoned.”

trollface.gif

2026-10-22 14:15:27

Gorgeous na Shock!

indigoparadox@mastodon.social

@CursedSilicon I wish there were more little buttons to press under this to signal approval.

2026-10-22 15:16:30

crouton

crouton@aus.social

@CursedSilicon i can't tell if this is actually from an episode or are you just really good at channeling her

2026-10-22 16:12:21

derptron

crazyeddie@mastodon.social

@CursedSilicon Expert: Exactly correct.

2026-10-22 16:20:18

HowToPhil (Phillip R)

howtophil@mastodon.social

@CursedSilicon Yes, PHP does make alcoholics... but that's different.

2026-10-22 16:39:43

Jessamyn

jessamyn@glammr.us

@CursedSilicon

Expert: In a weird way, yes.

2026-10-22 17:34:52

Roberto Otárola Estrada

RobertoOtarola@mastodon.social

@CursedSilicon phpwned

2026-10-22 18:00:15

Jay Thurber Show

jaythurbershow@union.place

@CursedSilicon This is excellent content, some say even better than the 1989 hit, "Pump Up The Jam" by the Belgian act Technotronic.

2026-10-22 18:05:34

Oregon Slim

oregon_slim@c.im

@CursedSilicon

Hold on a second -- wasn't that PersonalHomePage thing a nifty choice back in 2008 when it was a key ingredient in the grass-roots campaign that got Senator Obama five dollar bills by the many and got him elected POTUS? Water sinks a few ships at sea now and then, but it supports all the rest.

I almost never wrote any PHP, but a friend once asked me for some help with the website of an org they were an officer of that lost its PHP person, and their membership data, like name, address, and membership expiration date, was maintained only as hand-coded tables in PHP code. In short, I've gotten this confused the hard way.

So, if 70% of the internet is PHP , I think we should declare it an illegal monopoly thereof, and force a split into the PHP and non-PHP parts with a 60-foot firewall in between. And we should force parents to choose which part their children get to see, and make credit card companies do business only on one part or the other, forbid inter-marriage, and see which part is still working in 2088, when we will draft all the survivors into the Space Force to protect us from the aliens.

And I'm not even running for anything!

2026-10-22 18:08:33

zodiepupper

zodiepupper@meow.social

@CursedSilicon as an expert: all software is just a drunk with a shed and sometimes way too many drunks and a pile of shed parts if you work at a big company.

2026-10-22 18:58:38

He Dreams of Shork

WanderingInDigitalWorlds@sunny.garden

@CursedSilicon ROFL I lived for this post, LIVED!

2026-10-22 20:13:06

argv[-1]

argv_minus_one@mastodon.sdf.org

@CursedSilicon

There's always some new feature that people want, or some newly discovered bug to fix, or some new computer that the old software needs to be modified to work on.

To ask if software is ever finished is to ask if software is ever perfect. Which, no, of course not. Perfection is impossible.

2026-10-22 20:36:12

Malcolm Herbert

mherbert@social.chinwag.org

@CursedSilicon ... I remember working with it back when it was PHP/FI ... they dropped the /FI in the mid 90s I think, which is when they started using the Zend interpreter ... good ol' "Personal Home Page/Fast Interface" ...

2026-10-22 20:51:18

🐜

antdude@mastodon.social

@CursedSilicon IT Crowd FTW.

2026-10-22 22:00:10

tinsukE

tinsuke@mas.to

@CursedSilicon Expert: No, it's more like masochism. And yes, some people find pleasure in it too.

2026-10-22 22:37:24

Kara Goldfinch

KaraLG84@dragonscave.space

@CursedSilicon She'd so say that. She'd then go on to add that "PHP was released in 1993, which as we all know was 2 years after the last episode of that brilliant program, Vrush Strokes".
I just looked them both up

2026-10-22 22:37:41

Arnaud Strill

ArnaudStrill@mastodon.top

@CursedSilicon
Narrator voice : It is important to mention that PHP was created in 1994, and the first release of the programming language happened in 1995. Only 6 years after the Belgian hit song, Pump Up The Jam.

https://youtu.be/9EcjWd-O4jI?is=TqqDvwcnwMDlsPkL

2026-10-23 00:40:21

Rypel

rypel@mastodon.world

@CursedSilicon #PhilomenaCunk

2026-10-23 00:45:45

Fardels Bear

riggbeck@mastodon.social

@CursedSilicon

At moments of existential crisis, Philomena Cunk is the right person to call.

2026-10-23 02:12:21

Paul van der Laan

paulvanderlaan@typo.social

@CursedSilicon I am sure Philomena pronounces PHP as “FOOP”.

2026-10-23 02:34:23

myrmepropagandist

futurebird@sauropods.win

@CursedSilicon

This is mean. :(

2026-10-23 02:40:48

Alexa Devreux-Swift

alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space

@CursedSilicon

Philomena knocks it out the park again!

2026-10-23 03:36:17

Dr. Bruce Simpson

bms@bsd.cafe

@CursedSilicon I keep confusing her with Philomena Crunk, the energy drink magnate

2026-10-23 04:04:05

robert daniel pickard

rdp@notpickard.com

@CursedSilicon @mojoaxel

good reminder to myself that what is taking up my day is not taking up my best friend's day

2026-10-23 04:40:23

I AM BANKSY ☕ / 🗑‍🔥

xinit@mastodon.coffee

@CursedSilicon
She understands
@spacehobo

2026-10-23 07:05:12

okasion :archlinux:

anokasion@hidamari.apartments

@CursedSilicon PHP it's one of my favorite languages. And it seems I'm not alone. I prepared to prepatch (update && upgrade) our servers one day before, the 20th when they announced the next day would release the patch. Had no problem at all.
But I try not to be blind to one language, and I also like a lot Ruby, not so much RoR which kind defeats the purpose for a backend, but it is what it is. Hopefully someone will make a fork because of this DHH guy. Unless more money goes to the Ruby and RoR project instead of Omarchy.
If I have to use Django and go crazy again, it would be part of the job I guess, but I really don't like how it can have so many abstraction layers.

2026-10-23 07:41:54

Mossie Mossie Mossie Mossie [Viridi Vix]

vivi@arff.archandle.net

@CursedSilicon why are we copypasting the post text body for alt text instead of describing the image attached

2026-10-23 08:06:46

Engine of Creation 🏴‍☠️ 🦜

goulien@mastodon.social

@CursedSilicon
I love it! ❤️

2026-10-23 09:36:58

Geekman

Geekman@mastodon.social

@CursedSilicon Literally what having a conversation with the AI folks has been like this week.